Carbs are my favourite; did you know? This isn't only going to be pictures of food, and it's over the course of a month so give me a break (it's still not good 🤫 I know).
What I'm saying is it's another photo dump post.
I got an annoying idea in my head the other day, and I've been having a hard time shaking it. I've been trying to make new habits and do new(ish) things and not really improving, and having this feeling that I suck at everything I try. I realise that on a global scale, most people suck at most things they do, but I try to set my goals realistically and still end up feeling inadequate by my own meagre standards.
I know it's not realistic to improve at the guitar if you can't find time to practice. I know I won't be able to draw unless I actually, y'know, pick up a pen and do some drawing. I do know this, and that's why I suppose I'm complaining about a feeling rather than my own lack of ability to improve.
The things I do do regularly, I improve at. I've been steadily improving at badminton since we stopped caring about COVID as a species. I've been happy with my photos and writing. I've been happy with the quality of my work. I feel like I'm doing better as a husband and dad at the moment (though the latter gets trickier the more effort you put in. Video games have not prepared me for that difficulty curve!).
I can just never let myself be happy with what I am getting right. Unless all my plates are spinning full speed and with perfect balance, I can't congratulate myself for the ones that are. I have to focus on the ones that I keep letting fall, and then beat myself up for it. Thanks for that, brain. I appreciate that you're always trying to push me forward, I guess. Would be nice to feel happy and satisfied occasionally, though (I imagine).