😑 hatedπŸ˜’ dislikedπŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ indifferent⭐️ liked🀩 loved

Film 🀩 Akira

09/08/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

I tried to watch this years ago when I was properly into anime, and I hated the art style and couldn't get past it. Saw a bit of a YouTube video last night and wanted to give it another try. Very glad I did; I loved it. The scope of the story is incredible. I went from "how is this two hours long?!" to "how is this only two hours long?!" in about 45 minutes.

The pacing is pretty all-over-the-place and a lot of the necessary backstory seems to have been inserted as an afterthought towards the end, which makes the last 20 minutes a bit chaotic. I bet Netflix are dying to get their hands on this to make it into 5 seasons of forgettable crap.

The sound direction is incredible as well. I'm a sucker for a good score and you don't often see something so grandiose in animation like this.

If you don't like anime, you're not going to like it. I think it probably invented, or at least popularised, a lot of the genre tropes that annoy people about anime (the last 15 minutes is basically every character screaming AKIRAAAAA TETSUOOOOO KANEDAAAA which even irritated me!). But if you're into anime, and you haven't seen it (who even is that, at this point?!); give it a try.

Film 🀩 Inside Out 2

08/20/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

Really beautiful. Just so well done; well considered. A deep understanding of emotional motivation and connection. I can't believe this works as a film but it does. Probably not great on the rewatch but neither was the first.

Film 🀩 The Menu

08/07/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

Unhinged and perfect. A better analyst than me would elegantly link the thankless task of making art for everyone but yourself, and the ensuing desperate hollow that leaves behind. The all-too-late reminder of why you took your chosen path, and the vindication of honesty and innocence.

Not even remotely what I was expecting, and instantly creates a perfect double-header with Chef. I love movies like this almost as much as I love finding movies like this. And if you're looking for a triple-bill, let's put Midsommar in there as well.

Film 🀩 LA Confidential

08/01/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

One of my all-time favourites. A perfect film.

Film 🀩 Sicario

07/30/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

First time I saw this I didn't really care for it, and now I absolutely love it. A glow-up for the history books. Just watch it; it's brilliant. And if you don't enjoy it, just keeping watching it until you do, I guess.

Film ⭐️ Godzilla Minus One

07/20/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

I've never seen a Godzilla film but a bunch of people said this would be a good one to watch. I enjoyed it. Visually beautiful, good mix of practical and special effects, nice hammy acting. Everything I didn't know I apparently wanted from a Godzilla film.

Film ⭐️ Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

07/07/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

Fun. Long - very long - but I enjoyed it.

Film 🀩 Shane Gillis: Beautiful Dogs

06/19/2024

πŸ”— netflix.com

Oh man it feels wrong admitting to liking this but I was properly cry-laughing for some of it. I think this is a great example of comedy that looks and feels super gross but actually landed so well with me.

I think the stuff that sounds misogynistic is super self-aware and actually a lot funnier because of that. And genuinely if I could do his impression of Trump I would do it all day every day. People would stop talking to me.

I get if you hate this, and I even get if you judge me for liking it. I wish you wouldn't, but I get it.

Film ⭐️ After Yang

05/01/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

Film-ruining spoilers for After Yang, Klara and the Sun, and maybe Click? If you're looking for something poignant and melancholic, you can do a lot worse than this!


This reminded me so much of Klara and the Sun, in terms of its tone. The mute grief is played so well across the board, I could almost see a movie adaptation of Klara being pretty identical to this.

I didn't get the need to carry on with Russ and Cleo's branch of the story once Jake starts exploring Yang's memories. For me, the ethical question about Yang's relevance as a museum exhibit, or his right to privacy after his death, aren't relevant to the story. Maybe those will become questions humans need to ask ourselves in future, but a half-baked attempt to do it speculatively just doesn't work for me. The important part of that branch is that we get access to Yang's memories and explore his past lives.

This forms another parallel with Klara; the exploration of what happens when you leave an old life behind. When we see Yang's first life; full, bitter-sweet, come to its inevitable end, and his memories roll up and get compartmentalised, his grief forbids him from engaging in his short second life. These ends made me feel very similar to how I felt when Klara was disposed of.

The synopsis of this film describes everything from Jake's perspective and re-establishing his connection with his family, and I suppose I get why. But it does make the whole thing feel like an artsy Click, rather than a study of grief, rebirth, and one's capacity to start again and keep going.

Film ⭐️ Asteroid City

04/30/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

This is one of those films that feels like it probably has loads of layers if you want to watch it tens of times. Smarter people than me have probably already written about it. Maybe I'll just read that.

Fortunately, if all you want to do is watch a beautiful film with some nice characters and that stilted, matter-of-fact Wes Anderson dialogue, this is a very pleasant way to spend an hour and a half.

Film 🀩 Ratatouille

04/27/2024

This is the perfect film. I will throw down over this.

Film ⭐️ The Holdovers

04/26/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

I thought this was lovely. Not sure it'll go into rotation as a Christmas film but it's definitely got rewatch potential. You go through the emotional spectrum with this, and it's sentimental without being cloying or clichΓ©d.

Film ⭐️ Half Nelson

04/24/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

Most of the time, not reading a synopsis on a film is fine. I like to go in as blind as possible on films.

With this, however, I was expecting a comedy. You shouldn't judge things by their covers or posters. A comedy, this is not.

I did like it a lot though. Ryan Gosling's brand of radio-friendly, high-functioning drug addict means you get a decent story and some good relationships, which are pierced by Frank's "he's a base-head. Base-heads don't have friends".

The film doesn't do much to glamourise or villify drug addiction; it's just a story about a guy who seems to be trying to be good (a lot of the time), whilst living with a thorn in his side.

In a way it's a shame that they tried to run Dan and Drey's stories together. Neither gets explored fully and they're both interesting characters that I did end up caring about. Solid ending though.

Film ⭐️ The Killer

04/22/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

We started watching this when it first came out and this premise is so tired; "I'm an assassin and I live by a very specific set of rules that I'm about to break and watch my life fall apart". I'm over it. I do realise that "I'm an assassin and I live by a very specific set of rules; watch how that works out for me" isn't exactly fertile ground for a gripping story.

The Killer is a pretty decent take on the concept, though. It's paced well, and it lays out the plan in the first quarter then spends the remaining three executing (lol good pun Jasper). "Anticipate. Don't improvise" - words for assassins and filmmakers to live by.

The almost-mute dialogue of the protagonist, interspersed with whiplash-inducing hyperviolence gives the film a bit of a Drive atmosphere. For a film about a highly-skilled assassin, it's more of a train journey than a rollercoaster, but a pleasant one nonetheless. No rowdy youths get on and spoil your calm, unless you hate The Smiths.

Not sure I'd recommend going out of your way to watch this immediately if you haven't already, but if you're looking for something to watch and nothing is taking your fancy, maybe give it a go. I'd rather watch this than John Wick any day of the week.

Film 🀩 Dune: Part One

03/06/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

Rewatch because I'm hoping to see part two next week and had forgotten the entire plot. Plus we were talking about it earlier and I wanted to watch it anyway.

For a 2.5+ hour film this goes by quickly; it's a strangely-paced film. It's so slow and purposeful, but achieves so much in terms of world and character development. There's so much history communicated through almost every scene; it's remarkable.

Wish I'd read the book first. I know I should have but I have not.

Film ⭐️ Crazy, Stupid, Love

02/26/2024

When Ryan Gosling punches Kevin Bacon in the face is one of the greatest movie moments.

Film 🀩 The Nice Guys

02/24/2024

One of the best films I've ever seen in my life. It's perfect. I think about this film multiple times every day.

Film 😑 Wonka

02/17/2024

πŸ”— imdb.com

There is just no way that the Willy Wonka in this film, in this universe, becomes the cold sociopath of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. No way.

No part of this is a prequel to that film. This film is what so many are now, and that is a dilute strawman that only exists in the mind of the creator and the shareholders responsible.

The only thing I can say for this trash is that I wanted to hate it; I knew I would hate it, and I was not disappointed.

Film ⭐️ Killers of the Flower Moon

01/14/2024

A very, very long and slow burn. So detailed and beautiful and sad and evil. We had to watch it over two nights because I can't do a film like this in a single sitting, but that's just because I was sleepy and not because of any problem with the film itself. It is long but on immediate reflection I don't think you could edit it down in any significant way.

Film ⭐️ Saltburn

01/01/2024

I enjoyed this a lot, but let's not pretend that it's anything more than Parasite for a western audience that doesn't want to read subtitles.

Film ⭐️ Dumb and Dumber

12/22/2023

Consider this a freebie from your boy. If you want to enjoy this film again as an adult, watch it with a ten-year-old who's never seen it. I may live to regret showing this to her, but whilst we were watching she was so happy. Imagine being ten and learning that they made films that match your stupid annoying sense of humour. That's real happiness right there.

Film πŸ˜’ GoldenEye

12/22/2023

I don't think I like James Bond

Film ⭐️ Nope

12/02/2023

I like it, but it drags on a bit in the last act.

Film 🀷 The Creator

11/17/2023

This is a bad movie, dragged out to make a really long bad movie. Normally I would avoid speaking so objectively about a film, and I hope this self-awareness will give weight to my opinion and save someone two hours.

The only redeeming element to this film is the art direction. The story is meandering and unengaging. Performances are hammy. It just doesn't work; and I really wanted it to work. I am so ready for a big budget sci-fi, but I guess I'm waiting for Dune.

Film ⭐️ Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

11/06/2023

I liked it. Cheesy as all hell but I feel like that's the point. Solid ending. Probably not going to watch it again.

Film ⭐️ Gladiator

10/21/2023

Hans Zimmer is the laziest composer in history omg. So much of the Pirates of the Caribbean music is in this film.

Film ⭐️ The Devil All the Time

10/06/2023

I love this sort of film.

Film ⭐️ Barbie

09/25/2023

I enjoyed this film a lot. I like films that are about characters and what they do, rather than some story arc. There obviously is a story here but it's very much a vehicle for the characters.

I read a review that broke it down as a ruling elite class crushing an uprising by pitting the oppressed class against each other to divide and conquer, and how that is an allegory for politics and society today. I like that a lot as a comparison, and I would love it if that was intentional but I doubt it somehow. Amusing how a film about liberation and empowerment lands as a tale of class oppression.

I loved the soundtrack. Been listening to it for a while anyway but it fits so well with the film. Especially Billie Eilish's song.

Cast was all amazing as well. It really comes across how much everyone enjoyed filming it. I thought America Ferrera and Margot Robbie in particular were brilliant, and I love Ryan Gosling as an airhead with too much confidence.

Film ⭐️ Moonfall

09/10/2023

Oddly not as terrible as I expected. The first hour lays it out like The Core or Armageddon or something like that, and the acting is exactly as urgent and hammy as you'd expect. But actually the story is pretty coherent, all things considered. And the special effects are pretty amazing. The last thirty minutes were particularly enjoyable.

I will say, though, if you find deus ex machina annoying, skip this hard.

Film ⭐️ The Last Airbender

09/09/2023

Tabitha and I watched Korra together and I enjoyed it a lot. Not sure why I thought I wouldn't.

I didn't realise this was M Night Shyamalan, but it is absolutely a film of his. Terrible dialogue, weird overacting, Chekov's guns literally everywhere. But it's silly and fun and it made me want to watch the animated series (yes I know I should've watched that first shush).

Film 🀷 They Cloned Tyrone

08/02/2023

Netflix asked their picket-line-breaking AI to make them a Jordan Peele film with a hint of Black Dynamite and Sorry to Bother You's atmosphere and it could not be more obvious.

Film ⭐️ Baby Driver

07/20/2023

This is a strange movie but I think that's because it's kinda high-brow and I'm not really used to high-brow car films. I'm a Fast franchise guy, you know this by now. Baby Driver is your thinking boy's car film.

I think one thing I like about this film is that the stunts and chase scenes are mercifully short. It seems like the 2020 thing to do is have these uncomfortably protracted action sequences that honestly I'm just waiting to be over. Baby Driver has none of that. None. It's lean, it's got some good driving, it's got a goddamn contrived-as-shit backstory, it's got Jamie Foxx being unhinged as heck. I like this movie.

It does have something I don't like though: Kevin Spacey's shit-eating face I want to punch him so bad but realistically I'm not a fighter; he could probably kick my ass.

Film ⭐️ Wet Hot American Summer

06/27/2023

There are so many stars in this it's kinda strange to watch for the first time now. Even I got sick of saying "whoa it's ... from ...", and I loveΒ doing that!

I enjoyed this a lot. It's a solid premise with some cool "wait what just happened" bits of surrealism. Definitely going on my Friday Night rotation.

Film ⭐️ Entourage

06/23/2023

In my defence, we watched the TV show. I absolutely do not recommend watching this, but I did enjoy it.

Film 😑 F9

06/18/2023

This movie made no fucking sense at all. And I say that as a general fan of the series. They're getting more and more stupid and difficult to forgive blatant lapses in realism. They came after magnets?! Oh hell no. Magnets do not work this way.

There wasn't even that many cool cars in it. Sure there's a nice Noble and a new NSX and that '68 Charger is pretty wild but I need these movies to be a cornucopia of outrageous cars and this wasn't it.

Film ⭐️ Fire of Love

06/17/2023

It's crazy how much beautiful footage of volcanoes these two got. I really can't oversell it; they were wonderful photographers.

Film πŸ˜’ John Wick: Chapter 4

05/24/2023

Nope this is not good. It's too long and too stupid and the fight scenes are way too long to the point that they're boring and the dialogue is terrible. The first one was legitimately decent and the rest just aren't worth it. I like the soundtrack though.

Film ⭐️ The Wrong Guy

05/22/2023

If I ever stop loving films like this, just kill me. What's the point in cinema without silly shit like this I mean really.

Film 🀷 My Spy

05/20/2023

In my defence I knew what this was going to be and it was it. Utter dogshit but now I'm 1.5 hours older so job done?

Film ⭐️ Game Over, Man!

05/19/2023

God this is awful. I might be an idiot.

Film πŸ˜’ The Super Mario Bros. Movie

05/18/2023

I love the nihilistic Luma, and it made me want to dig out and play every Mario game I own. But no. Just no, this isn't what cinema is for, for me.

Film 🀷 Wrath of Man

05/18/2023

Solid take on the heist format, but honestly very little in the way of tension. There's never any point in this movie where I wasn't 100% certain that Jason Statham was going to end a load of lives.

Film 🀷 Sicario: Day of the Soldado

05/12/2023

More American borderline-war-crime propaganda and attempts to justify the war on drugs. Let it go, folks. You lost. It's entertaining and tense and beautifully constructed but for fuck's sake let it go. I hate films like this. It's dumb action pretending to be highbrow. Let's just not. As a tense shooty circle-jerk it's great, but it has delusions of grandeur. Like when I get drunk and try to write poetry.

If there was an Oscar for arms, though, Josh Brolin surely would've taken it for this. Damn his arms look good in this film. Wish I could be bothered to cultivate forearms like this.

Film ⭐️ The Bourne Identity

05/05/2023

When I'm in the mood to watch a James Bond film, this is actually what I want to watch. But my god it is stupid in places.

Film 😑 Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre

05/05/2023

Probably the worst film I will ever watch multiple times.

Film 🀷 Persuasion

04/27/2023

I just don't get films like this. I know why I watched it, but why would you watch this? It's a five minute story dragged out to 1.5 hours, with fancy costumes and fake Olde Englifh accents. I just don't think, as a story, it offers anything worth considering. Maybe I need to read the book. In which case, it's a very long trailer for a book.

Film ⭐️ The Darjeeling Limited

04/25/2023

Like if Wes Anderson made Fear and Loathing, in India. Such a lovely, meandering mess. Felt a lot longer than one hour thirty, which would usually be an insult, but here it's more of a comment on just how much you can achieve in such a short period of time if you don't preoccupy yourself with things like structure and story. Made me feel like maybe I do get jazz.

Film ⭐️ Nobody

04/22/2023

It's John Wick with Bob Odenkirk. That's it. That's the pitch. Better than John Wick 3 though.

Film 😑 2001: A Space Odyssey

04/05/2023

I honestly think this is just stupid and not good, but it's obscure enough that people are going to be like "ohhh yes it's brilliant such an incredible commentary don't you just love all the metaphors let's talk about them you go first". It's that kind of movie. Either I'm smart and it's stupid, or it's smart and I'm stupid. Either way I didn't enjoy it. Especially the last 25 minutes.

I read a review that said "a small sphere of intellectuals will feel that Kubrick has said something, simply because one expected him to say something". That's a far more concise way of putting it.

Shame as I really thought I'd love it.

Next