I just don't know if it's worth the time spent on it. It's entertaining enough, which almost distracts from the fact that it's 17-year-old deep. Almost. Like I get it. Everyone's a slave somehow. And every slavemaster doesn't see their slave as a person, and that's a problem. And it's never going to change. And when it looks like it might change: surprise; it's the same. But that's also slavery. When you look at it from the outside, the solution is very simple. Let's just not any more.

If you're looking for subtext, this is The Matrix for people who prefer period dramas to sci-fi. I can't help but compare it to The Fountain, which deals with similar themes from a different angle. Unlike The Fountain, however, The Wachowskis aren't able to drag convincing performances from their comically overrated Big Names. Aronofsky gets an emotional performance from Hugh Jackman in The Fountain, and it's beautiful in spite of his shortcomings. He's an everyman, overwhelmed by his predicament. I think I'm right in saying that Halle Berry and Tom Hanks have never given a convincing performance. There are times in this film where, if you'd told me Halle Berry was reading an autocue, I'd believe you.

I will say, though. Ben Wishaw is beautiful in this. He's so convincingly tortured, right to the very end. Won't even let himself have one final bit of happiness in case it changes his mind.

I think it's important to note that someone smarter than I am could potentially call this a brilliant piece of film-making. But for me, an armchair intellectual, it presents too many disconnected notions and never attempts to tie them together. It's all very beautiful and Wachowski-ish, but I'm not 17 any more. Maybe 17-year-old me could explain it to 35-year-old me.

I absolutely loved this. I wasn't expecting to but I couldn't say why. I love these slices of real life that just tell a story, but this one is a goddamn all-you-can-eat buffet in terms of characters. Every character is so deep and, most importantly, so real. Performances are amazing all round. I don't think there's a single weak performance in the whole thing.

In the interest of not being obsequious, it annoys me how the timeline jumps around all over the place. I don't know if that's present in the source, but I found myself a few times watching a scene and then realising that we were in a different time than I thought. It was a bit irritating, but not so much that it'd put me off emphatically recommending this wonderful film.

I feel like such an idiot for not watching this sooner.

The most ridiculous plot, and so very 90s. Russia and North Korea conspiring to steal technology from the US, only to be foiled by a child?! If I had a penny for every film with this plot! But it was fun - we all enjoyed it.

I've had a passing interest in Go since watching Pi, but I don't know how you play or even what the objective is.

That's how you can tell a good documentary: it gives you enough information in context, with pace to keep you engaged, so that you can follow and appreciate why what you're seeing is worth seeing.

This made me want to learn more about Go, but also showed me the futility of learning! Very enjoyable documentary.

I don't even know what sort of comedy I like but this got me laughing. I like his "I'm an idiot" voice, and the bit about cutting in line is me at every theme park ever. This is solid observational comedy. Not shitty Michael McIntyre.

Frankie Boyle seems desperate to grow out of his shock-value material, but never quite manages it. Wants to have his cake and eat it by delivering these jokes then acknowledging the problems with them. I feel like in 2 or 3 tours he could do something really special, but it's just not quite there yet.

Still plenty of laughs, and I never usually find him even remotely funny.

Bad. Just really bad. It's the sort of premise you'd come up with in a pub when you're on your way to hammered, but then most people would sober up and realise it goes nowhere and abandon the idea. I would say it's funny how much I hated it but that'd be crediting it with a laugh it didn't earn.

It was still pretty good, and any film that contrives to combine close harmony singing, John Michael Briggs and Elizabeth Banks is going to be able to hold my attention for a couple of hours. Still I think I prefer the first one, for that classic teen-outcast-on-a-path-of-self-discovery storyline.

This whole film is a mood. Immediately added to my Friday Night playlist for when I'm feeling good and I want to keep that going. Loved every minute of it.

Awful. Maybe the longest film ever made.

It was fine I guess. I'm not a huge fan of things where the message is "they had everything they needed all along". I don't think I'd watch it again.

Never seen any incarnation of this. I enjoyed it but the pacing is totally rushed in the back half. I don't know if that's consistent with other versions of it. I liked the story and the songs though.

More enjoyable than it has any business being. If you hate this I just don't get it. It's kids doing magic. Grow a heart I mean Jesus.

I loved this. Nice to have a simple story that makes you like two characters and ends nicely.

Where's Hugh Grant been hiding that?! Yeah it's a Guy Ritchie film for 2019, yeah he's using underrated actors. We've all seen True Detective.

It's a classic Ritchie gambit, and if you like that sort of thing I think you'll like this.

I love Matthew McConnaughey I love Colin Farrell I love Hugh Grant (apparently)

Charlie Hunnam neeeeeeds an accent coach.

Wonderful. Abstract, whimsical, obscure and frank exactly when it needs to be. Absolutely loved it.

Looks like it's just going to be some pointless Dreamworks-style romp where they pick an animal then animate some nonsense about it for two hours but it's actually quite beautiful. Couple of nice tearjerker moments, and Everest sounds like a Goron from Ocarina of Time so that's nice.

I was not expecting this. Didn't look at my phone once the entire time. Daniel Craig's accent was solid, apart from one slip. Great story, unfolds wonderfully, and what a reprehensible bunch of people.

These spin-off Star Wars stories are my favourites. Rogue One, Mandalorian, Solo are all great stories that operate with a satisfying - but never overbearing - nod to the central premise. Donald Glover played a great Lando, in an enviable wardrobe.

When I watch films like this they make me feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Should you watch it? No it has Rob Schneider in for Christ's sake. No-one should.

Did I enjoy it? Yeah it made me laugh a load like a private joke I've been telling since I was 9 years old. If you want to watch the version of this that is actually a good film, watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. If you want to watch a version of this where you can take a bunch of codeine and find Rob Schneider's missing fingers funny, watch The Wrong Missy. Or Deuce Bigalow.

Or both if you have a lot of codeine.

The trailer made this look like an interesting concept, and Ryan Reynolds is usually pretty reliable for me but I absolutely hated this. There were a couple of amusing moments in it but overall I thought it was absolutely dreadful.

Didn't expect to like this but there's a lot of cool details in this that appeal to a lifelong fan of the game series. I love that movies are concentrating so much on sound design at the moment; I love how this movie sounds.

It's basically The Fast and the Furious but suitable for kids. I'm glad they changed Sonic's design; he looks way better now.

The visuals of the credits are excellent, too. Whoever designed them should make a game please.

Disney, I'm begging you: please stop this madness.

When Lady and the Tramp roll over and end up nose to nose, what's the implication here? Are they going to kiss? Is the tramp going to seductively peel Lady's fur off her shoulder then gently nuzzle her breasts? This is horrible.

Don't let my sacrifice be in vain. Don't watch this disturbing, garbage piece of shit movie. Even if your kids really want to watch it. It's your job as a parent to protect them from danger.

I could listen to Ali Wong say "oh my god" all night.

Surprised to have enjoyed this. There's a lot to be said for incredibly low expectations I suppose!

Beautiful cinematography, an incredible collection of cars, and some great performances. I don't think I've heard a better British accent by an American than Christian Bale's in this.

Unbelievably tense. Beautifully-shot. Funny, dark, creepy. Everything I want in a film.

It's not without its problems. A film trying to convince you that you're not bound to your fate, chocked full of Deus Ex Machina is a pretty fundamental criticism, if criticism is what you're looking for. If what you want is a rollercoaster with beautiful visuals, sound, tension and fight choreography, you'll find it here. I absolutely loved it, and so did my daughter. She sat still for the entire film, which I don't think she's ever done.

I can do without the kiss, though. So pointless.

Beautiful photography and score. Weird as hell, and very unsettling. Almost no story but that doesn't really matter.

Lots of tears.

It's not very often I really root for characters in a film like this. Funny, sweet, felt really real. Not the usual contrived bullshit you get from romcoms like this. Even did a little cry at the end.

I thought I'd hate this but I did not hate it. It's not pushing any boundaries or anything but it was an enjoyable watch with some cool fight choreography, brilliant visuals in character design, scene dressing and costume, and I loved the score. My main criticism is it's got a lot of monotone performances, but I guess that's what you have to expect from robots?

Didn't even notice the time pass. Totally gripped the whole way through. Incredibly tense, well-studied. Impressive to give such depth to a character that has been pretty two-dimensional until now. Loved it - would've happily watched it again straight away.

Cary Elwes is one of my favourite comedic actors, and I could listen to André the Giant speak all day.

The film itself is good. It lacks the pace of the original but the changes they made to the structure of the story make it a lot more coherent. But I just cannot recommend it. They have destroyed the songs. Destroyed. They're all so bad, and the new one is dreadful. Just watch the original.

Wasn't expecting anything from this but almost slipped a disc laughing. He's loud and says abrasive shit but he navigates it so smartly, in a way that even comics I know he admires haven't achieved. He's far better than Chappelle at the "I'll apologise later - here's some gross shit I came up with" bit, which surprised me because I bet that's where he learned it.

I put off watching this for ages because I heard it was a rehash of various stories. It is definitely heavy-handed with the Native American subtext, but I ended up not minding that at all. It's very long but, unlike many long films lately, it never feels unnecessary. If it was made in 2019, this film alone would probably have been a trilogy. Cameron is very efficient with the store and lore of Pandora.

I don't care what anyone says; I love this movie and it still holds up today. Was ready for it to be a teenage nerd's wet dream, but it's so goddamn stylish and satisfying to watch I can't do anything but love it.

Thought this would be fine for Tabitha (6) but she was still a little young for it. As usual, not the parts I'd expect, but still it wasn't really what I'd call a success.

The visuals, story, performances and soundtrack are all brilliant, in my opinion, though. It's been so long since I last saw this but it's one of those that is going to be great forever, I think.

Films like this are one of the reasons I try to avoid extended trailers and spoilers of any kind. I had no idea what it was going to be about and watching it felt like a rollercoaster. Loved it.

Wasn't for me. There's a lot to like about this film: the soundtrack, suspense, comedy. Jordan Peele seems to be skilled at making people believable. But the story and lore left me thoroughly frustrated. I'd love to ask Jordan Peele some questions but I don't think he could give me satisfying answers.

It's a lie. It's sweet, but it's a lie. We don't benefit from lying to children that one strong outcast is going to solve all our problems. One bull who refuses to fight isn't going to stop the concept of bullfighting, so why lie about it?

If you're the sort of person who can watch a giant lie and not feel guilty for concealing the truth, this is for you. If not; avoid it, because you're going to have some stuff to explain to your child.

It's just sad. So many potential scientists, if they could just get out of their own way. So many people who just want to belong somewhere.

Absolutely perfect. Honestly one of the best things I've seen recently. There's a reason that so much pop culture takes elements from this. It's just brilliant, I wouldn't change any of it.

Totally side-swiped by this. Very well-executed, and some properly funny moments. Loved the style and a great soundtrack. I don't think it would survive a rewatch, but then I also don't think every film has to.

Thinks it's John Wick, Smokin' Aces and Leon, but it's no John Wick, Smokin' Aces or Leon. Was ready to love this but it's too long and too stupid.

Never enjoyed any of his comedy before, but liked this a lot, and had a nice ending I wasn't expecting.