The way my brain handles and compartmentalises anxiety makes me a walking, self-sabotaging anxiety factory.

This year I've been helping Sussex Badminton Juniors organise courts for their matches. This is everything I hate in a task - it's time-sensitive, there's money involved, there's many people's time involved. It's totally wrong for me, but I was asked and I am pathologically incapable of saying no to things I could do. I even try on a regular basis and I just can't do it - I always end up acceding.

Two fixtures for this season have been driving me up the wall. I've lost sleep. Last night I was Googling badminton courts in Hampshire for a fixture that I just have not been able to place, because I couldn't sleep worrying about it.

Today I've been phoning around every open tab on my phone, and finally managed to find somewhere with availability for the date I need, got it booked and it's all sorted. And immediately my brain says "don't know what you were worrying about - it's all fine". Why am I like that? I have none of that visceral fear that I had two hours ago; that I'm a total failure. It all just evaporated immediately. I get how compartmentalising can be good for self-preservation, but at least leave me some residual memory to protect me from repeating my mistakes!