Playing FTL as Malcolm Reynolds

Last year I bought an iPad mini retina. I was not going to buy an iPad mini retina - I was not going to buy an iPad at all. I don't really need an iPad (nobody does, I suppose, but I especially don't).

Then, I heard that FTL was coming to iPad. That phrase sealed the deal, and I bought an iPad. That's how powerful this game is. I have played it on PC, I have played it on Mac, and I have always thought this is a tablet game.

I play as Malcolm Reynolds. My ship is Serenity, not Kestrel. I help everyone I come across - even if they end up luring me into a trap and ambushing me. Even if I take hull damage and need to repair at the next store. I do this because Mal would. If I gain the upper hand in battle against a slaver, I always let them go free to save one innocent slave, because that's what Mal would do. That slave's life is worth living, and their story is worth telling. Sure, the slaver lives on, but once you've played FTL more than once, you know that if you have two blocks of health and you lose a crew member, you're not going to last long.

I play as Mal because I aspire to Mal. Everything he does, I would, too. Even to his detriment, he's the good guy. He enslaves no man. He helps all who need him. He knows no prejudice; he only cares that your intentions are transparent and good. He suffers neither fools nor bullshit, and he stands by his fundamental principles, even in the face of certain death and unlikely odds. He picks his fights against those who need to be fought.

And that is why I play FTL. On a train, or late at night when I can't sleep, I can escape to a world where I am Malcolm Reynolds - captain of Serenity. I love my crew, I know their strengths, and I put them to use. When one man is hurt, we all surround the medbay until he's back at full strength. We stroll, cautiously, into traps because fighting off a hundred ambushes is worth saving one stranded. We're looking out for the little guy - that's what we do.

If you're still reading this, and not already downloading FTL, or buying an iPad and sitting by your front door and practising your convincing sore-throat voice, nothing more I can say is going to melt that lump of ice you call a heart, is it? I hope you enjoy your evening downvoting YouTube videos of babies taking their first steps.

By the way I totally suck at FTL. Mal would never suck as bad as I do. I play on easy and I still can't beat sector five because I get greedy and stupid. Mal would never get greedy or stupid. But Mal wouldn't be disappointed in me - Mal knows my intentions are pure. Mal would be cheering for me.