I think I've lost my joy. I don't know when it happened but I haven't felt right for what feels like a long time. Almost nothing makes me happy in any lasting way, and everything seems futile or unappealing.

I've been chalking it up as a temporary thing but it's been going on for too long now so I'm going to find someone to talk to. I've been saying I wanted to for ages, and I tried to self-refer but I'm not vulnerable enough so I need to do it off my own back. I haven't really wanted to spend money recently as it's already been an expensive year and it's not getting cheaper, but buying video games and records to just put them on a shelf isn't working any more. Maybe it never was.